Coming Soon! "And You, And You, And You…..You Never Loved Me"

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A CRAZY BITCH!

Minimize how I feel?  That ends now! I asked you nicely to never contact me again and your choice was to tell me I was just going to get over it. I just needed to "chew on that a while."

"I 'Blah Blah Blah' you because that is exactly what B*** A** did to me when I explained my absense was because I was embarrassed about my mental illness.  She was like "Whatever C******...that is stupid.....you see Theresa that what real friends do..... I laugh about it now.  Chew on that a while and I will talk to you soon.  It just boundries not a loss girl...…"

DID YOU SUCK MY ENERGY OUT OF ME TO THE POINT I HAD TO DUMP YOUR ASS?

"...they are very kind and generous. they just want to see me happy, get my own life, etc…it was hardest for me just to come to terms with myself by giving up my career."


Then why did you think it was YOU? And why did you get your daughter to email me about it instead of just asking me yourself? It wasn't about YOU. It's not always about YOU! Good-bye, you are DISMISSED!

WHAT MADE YOU THINK YOU WERE GOING TO SLIDE RIGHT BY, TELL ME NOT TO "TAKE IS PERSONALLY," AND JUST WALK AWAY CLEAN?

THE TIME HAS COME! YOUR ASSES ARE ON MY CHOPPING BLOCK!  I WILL REVEAL ALL I DID FOR YOU, EVERYTHING YOU NEVER DID FOR ME, AND EVERYTHING YOU TOOK FROM ME.

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T, FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME….." DON'T KNOW?  WELL, YOU'RE GONNA LEARN!

**********

And now a sneak peak of "And You, And You, And You…..You Never Loved Me"

     At least once a week, I have a night at home by myself while my husband goes off to play poker with his buddies.  And every week on that night while he's gone, I have a nose draining cry fest and then go to bed before he even gets home so he has no idea that I've cried for three or four hours straight.  The reason for such waterworks, one might think, would be due to being in pain and crying is a good release for that pain.  However, it is extremely rare that those hours are actually used to relieve stress from pain on my body.

     No, the reason I cry for three to four hours on those poker nights is because of general sadness and malaise over complete and total failure to be able keep people from leaving me.  Granted, in the last 6 to 9 months, I have deliberately ended two friendships both over 20 years old. But that has actually lifted a burden OFF of me in the months after doing so.  However, the overall experience for the grand majority of my lifetime has been that people leave me. They just up and go.  Now I've had a birth mother abandon me and an adoptive mother abandon me. That right there would give anyone a complex of some sort.

     But me?  I can do everything right, be perfectly kind, and try to be the best friend that a friend could ever try to be and people just leave. High and dry. No warning, no particular reason.  Now I know that people come in and out of our lives for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime.  But me?  I'm a weird, off-brand sort of repellent.

     Just recently, I posted on Facebook. I basically said that I should probably do some friend cleaning since I have so many on my friends list and so few seem to interact with things that I post.  When I see my friends post a basic opinion, or photo, or article and those friends seem to ALWAYS get 30 to 50 people commenting (a lot of times more than that), and I get nothing, I must conclude that no one is interested in me anymore.  I can't say for sure that it's the stupid Facebook algorithm keeping friends from seeing it in their News Feeds because I'm highly participatory with all of those friends.  It's the only logical conclusion left.

     In less than the last year, I've said "good-bye" to two best friend relationships. One was a 20-year friendship and the other was a friendship that went back as far as high school, nearly 30 years.  Well, why would I do that? Because one went through a mental health crisis, put me through a massive amount of pain, and when she left the psychiatric facility, didn't contact me.  When contact was finally made indirectly, that friend would not hear of me telling her about any of the things she did during her psychotic break.  Things like:

• Calling my husband and leaving him a message that I was a lesbian who had been chasing her for years.
• Calling and screaming into the phone to stay away from her and her child.
• Sending me texts not to contact her because I was not the agent of the FBI and that she was the Mayor of Philadelphia's agent.

     The list goes on.  And then she told me I would "get over it."  She basically attempted to blame me for it all.  I finally had to tell her "never contact me ever again" and "I'm done with you."  So not only did I have to grieve for my loss while she was sick, I grieved the loss of my friendship.  When it finally came down to thinking it all through, I knew this could never be mended if she would never take responsibility for at least the irresponsibility of going off of her medications.  People DO still grieve even when they are the dumper.

     As for the other friend, she basically turned out to be just like the aforementioned friend. After taking stock of the 20-year friendship, what it all came down to was that she only ever called, talked or spent time with me when she needed something from me.  She never asked for money so that was never an issue.  In fact, she refused to ever accept help when I offered it to her.  But when she needed an ear to burn for 4 to 8 hours or needed advice about family matters and so on, I was the one she called.  Did I expect her to reciprocate?  Of course, if she was able to do so.  But if I went to her with anything from the simple to the dire, she was never there for me. She was unavailable or didn't call back. In the earlier days, she wouldn't come over or wasn't there for me to go to her. In the later days, she never visited me once. I always went to her. And the list goes on…it's way too long to even hit the surface of that here.

Book Review: "Hardpressed" (Hacker #2) by Meredith Wild…..The Sex Scenes Aren't Sloppy Smut!!!!!

Hardpressed is book two of the Hacker Series and picks up where Hardwired left off. For those who read the first book and saw the comparisons to Fifty Shades of Grey like I did, this book gets away from all of that and there is no longer anything to compare.

This book takes some wild turns, some daring twists, and some of the secrets learned in the first book get addressed in Hardpressed. Readers of the first book know who Daniel is by the time they've finished and by the time we get through book two, we know Daniel, we don't like Daniel and, some of us like the way Erica handled Daniel. I personally found her method of dealing with him to be not smart just for the sake of being independent. Being independent doesn't mean you NEVER need help. And I think that's Erica's main flaw: she's so used to doing everything on her own, she doesn't allow anyone to step up and help her. That annoyed the Hell out of me.

In book two, we know that Erica is questioned over Mark's death and it was fairly brief. My gut says Ms. Wild is going to eventually come back to that but it's hard to tell which twists she'll take in book three. Maybe she'll let Mark be dead and gone so Erica can start to move on from that bad juju from her past.

We see a lot of Erica's non-blood-related family (Marie, Alli, Sid) place themselves at Erica's side while she goes through a tough time with Blake without even knowing the reason for the tough time. I wish Ms. Wild would have brought it out more that Erica's mother may have died long ago but that she always had family before finding Daniel. I understand a person's need to find and get to know blood relations if they are out there but Erica (and Ms. Wild) misses an opportunity here to emphasize Erica's TRUE family.

The ending was a shocker and then it wasn't. Without spoilers, I can't explain it any further than that.

The sex in the book is absolutely fabulous. Ms. Wild knows how to write an erotic scene without making it sloppy smut. I have no trouble confessing that I wanted to jump my own husband after reading those scenes and I wouldn't be surprised if other adult readers wanted to jump their own partners as well.

Overall, the series is off to a good start. I'm looking forward to book three, Hardline (Hacker #3).

So, is "Hardwired" by Meredith Wild a Ripoff of Fifty Shades of Grey or Twilight?????

Hardwired is the first book in Meredith Wild's Hacker series. Within the first three chapters, you'll begin to think you're reading the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy all over again and there are similarities. Blake is a gozillionaire who likes to be in control, he's hot, he's possessive and so on. He's got a brother named Heath who falls for Alli, best friend of the main character Erica.

Erica is basically an orphan who just graduated from Harvard and was raised by her mother's best friend. There's even Sophia, Blake's sort of ex who is a bitch and doesn't like Erica and the feeling is mutual. Some of the similarities are so close, you will think you are reading the same thing but you're not.

You'll most likely run into reviews of those who bitch and moan at the mere mention of the similarities. Frankly, I find those people immature. I mean, c'mon, Erica gets on Blake quite a few times in this first book and calls him "master of the universe." And if you know anything about FSoG, you know that it's Twilight fan fiction that was previously titled "Master Of The Universe." So to deny the similarities is just immature and stupid.

Now, the actual book is really good once you move past those similarities because there ARE differences. In Hardwired, Erica is NOT Ana nor is she Bella. Erica is tough, smart, business savvy, she has her own start up business and she's trying to get some serious millions to fund her company, Clozpin, which sounds like an anti-anxiety drug but really, it's a fashion social networking site.

Erica and Blake sort of meet by LITERALLY running into each other and the day afterward, Erica finds herself at a conference table surrounded by wealthy men to make her pitch and one of those wealthy men is Blake.

From that point on, the entire book is complete FIREWORKS! The love scenes/sex scenes in the book are by no means boring and Erica knows how to hold her own with Blake. She's not entirely a pushover although she does have some confidence and trust issues. Like most main characters in these types of novels, she's got a past and so does he. Hers is pretty bad.

What's good about the book is how Blake reacts the story of her past. He still engages her but he doesn't walk on eggshells with her either. I thought he handled it all like a pro.

Overall, this is a good read. It's not incredibly deep, it's a book to relax with and you probably won't be able to put it down. DO be ready to read the series. You will WANT to read the next two books anyway to find out what happens to Erica and Blake. I'm in the middle of the second book and it actually gets BETTER. So if your summer vacation is planned and you're looking from some books to sit back and read, grab up all three, get a glass of your favorite cold beverage, put your feet up and enjoy!!!!!